to my phone vibrating. It does this weird thing sometimes where it vibrates just short and fast. I was having a dream about something mildly unpleasant, I don't remember what now though. Anyway, it was him, as it should have been. Up surprisingly early, he's on his way now. I felt so irritated. In a year and a half I have gotten flowers from him once. Nothing for last Sweetest Day or Valentine's Day. And it's fine, I won't hold it against him. But I made it so clear that I wanted some today. Just something simple, $10. I didn't think it'd be a problem. It is, of course. He said he couldn't afford them. I can't really either, but I got him a gift card. I guess this is just one of those times I don't really love him. We tried breaking up last week. It didn't go well- at all. I despise it when guys go into hysterics. Such a huge turn off. But I did too because, well, here it goes- he's my first.
Ugh. I said it! I'm an awful, awful person. I'm sorry! It was a mistake, it was wrong, I know, I know! But I can't take it back. Instead, I'll suffer with the knowledge that I am with ONE guy for the past year and a half. One.
I used to be so much prettier three years ago. I was slimmer and more naive. I was innocent and had no idea what to do if a guy asked me for my number. It was a fun time. Older guys are so much sexier.
But at the risk of sounding promiscuous, it wasn't long before all of that was over. And now I'm here.
You know, I absolutely can not stand when technology tries to force you to do something. Like downloads. If I wanted a new version, I'd go get it myself. But every time I open an application that has a newer version, there's the minute and a half long interaction with the various dialogue boxes, and it pisses me off. Like right now, it just froze my whole computer to tell me it was finished downloading. I thought these were supposed to be user friendly.
We watched "Gossip Girl" last night. I love that show. I don't know why even, those girls are never things I aspired to be. I love watching it though. It's full of intrigue and glamor. It's wonderful. It makes me want Christmas. I just don't understand how those kids are just given money to spend. Blair paid Vanessa's rent for a year- seemingly without any accountability to her mom. Strange.
I want to go to Honduras. Badly. Although I'm terrified. Vivire con una familia extrana. Honestly though, I'm most afraid of the snakes.
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